Just De

Just De
Just De in Manhattan

Friday, October 15, 2010

Facebook: Blessing and Curse

With all due respect to Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook is the devil. You all know what I am talking about too. I have to give the young billionaire props for thinking of this bit of genius, because I would never know what was going on with everyone's lives. Many of my high school and college friends have beautiful families, fantastic careers and have really put their mark on the world. It makes me proud. Before FB, were you so in tune with all of your former high school, college and co-workers lives? I mean isn't this what high school reunions are for? I have to admit, I love FB. I enjoy reading status updates, reading who got married, who just had a baby, or who's in love.

Recently though, finding out who's in love was rather painful. As my previous post mentioned, I found out my ex had moved on with someone else. Shortly after that, I discovered that he not only moved on from me, moved her in with him and even have discussed the M word with her. After a month! There was even talk of a baby that could possibly be on the way. The ex said he was kidding, but come on fellas, how many of ya'll would willing claim a child if it weren't really there? I mean, I am just saying... (alright, I am done venting:))

I figured out one of the more painful realities of my life as of yet, on FB. Wow. Being the journalist that I am and self-proclaimed investigator, FB clues gave me more than enough to find out the truth. And I wish I weren't so damn nosey. A good friend of mine told me she would never let her ex be a FB friend because she doesn't want to know about his life. It would still hurt. Amen sista! Good thing my ex blocked me, because I know I too would be hurt to hear about all his undeserved happiness. But I still know. I bet the one mutual friend we have knows all about it and will not tell me anything because he knows it would hurt me. Especially when my friend tells me that I should be glad I could heal 735 miles away instead of being in the middle of my breakup Ground Zero. Point taken. But it's still hard. It helps not being there, but it hurts that I am not there.

Lately, because of my FB obsession, I not only learned about my ex's lovelife, but I learned about his pending engagement and his new social life. Many of his FB friends, are her friends. Many of the FB comments pertain to an evening out or an inside joke amongst his crew that didn't include me. Yep, he's over me. And I have to admit, it makes me sad.

When all of my heartache began, I was about to terminate my FB account and just shut down the rest of the world. But my same wonderful friend who told me she doesn't want to know about her ex's life, asked the simple question of "what about the 400+ friends who want to know about your life? Are you willing to let that happen because he has moved on?" Again, point taken.

How I am choosing happiness is: I am remembering just how important I am to a lot of people. People who prayed for me and asked about me through this difficult time in my life. People who just called to check on me because they too have been through what I am going through. People who posted on my FB wall how special and wonderful I am and that one day the man God has for me will meet me. I just have to heal so we CAN meet. People who encouraged me to start this blog to expedite the healing process. People who just took the time to tell me a corny joke or just to say hi. I am choosing the happiness in that. It is humbling and beautiful and I appreciate it ya'll.

But damn, I still love you and hate you FB!

2 comments:

Shannan said...

Deidre, I know to some degree this man was your everything and now it seems like your whole world is falling apart. The important thing to realize is that he is not your whole world, just a part of it. You are also a daughter, a sister, a writer, a self proclaimed investigator and of course, a friend. I am glad your friend was able to sway you to stay on this evil thing we call Facebook because, the truth is, if you manage to weed out the nay sayers, troublemakers masking as friends and pessimists, you will find there are many here that want you to succeed and when you arefar away, it helps you to stay close and in touch-take it from me. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for you and can't wait to see the new beautiful place you build over the old hurt...this time with a much stronger foundation;]

just de said...

hey shannan,
thanks again. and once again you are right. i thought that he was my everything. i think when we tend to think like that, God intervenes and teaches us a lesson. no one is anyone's everything other than God. that's what i believe anyway. sorry that i am still sounding like debbie downer, but this JUST happened. like a litte less than a month ago. so... i am giving myself the respectible 30 days to bitch about it a little and then, even if i am not completely over it, i will at least not wear it on me like a cloak. you feel me girl? thanks again for the support. love you for it. p.s. i actually got a congrats from the infamous ex. he read it too. hope he didn't in front of the girlfriend, i mean, fiancee, i mean baby mama! lol.