Just De

Just De
Just De in Manhattan

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Am I really a Puma?

The thought never really occurred to me. I am over 30 and single. Yes, I do realize that I am way over 30, at the front end of my mid-30s, but wow, I never thought about it in the context of dating and men.

I was involved with someone on-and-off for about nine years. I never really had to think about the dating scene (that's probably why I stayed in a bad relationship for so long.) I still really want to get married, have a few babies and live the American dream just like everyone else. But it's a whole different scene out here in the Midwest, western Michigan to be exact. And it's hard to get an interesting social life together when most 30 somethings are married with children. That's why I have decided to widen my dating pool.

The whole Puma subject was really explored when I asked the question of whether or not I was a Puma on my Facebook wall. My beautiful big sister playfully answered with "I don't know, but I know you will be a Cougar in April." Well I will hit a certain speed limit age in April, yes. I will officially be in my mid 30s. But many people tell me I look as if I am still in my mid 20s. Go figure, blessed with excellent genes. My witty response to my gorgeous big sis was, "Shut up you Cow, Cougars start in their 40s." She ought to know, she is three years away from officially being a Cougar herself.

I looked up the urban definition of a Puma online and discovered that it is a woman in her 30s who dates a man in his 20s. A Cougar, however, is a woman in her 40s who dates or marries a man in his 20s, or in Demi Moore's case, in his 30s.

Now that I am officially back on the dating scene-- well, officially opened to the dating scene that is-- I have to question what men see when they meet me. I work in an environment where I am around the public everyday. The men I meet range from teenaged to middle aged to super-duper middle aged to old. I have been approached by all of the above. Whenever I am approached by a man in his early 20s, my quick response to them is: "Sweetie, I could be your Mommy." Their response to me, "Yeah, honey, that's kinda what I am talking about." WOW. Flattering, that men, no matter the age, still think I have it.

How I am choosing happiness is: It's great to know that life does continue after a breakup, heartache and even after 30. Even though I have left the fast-paced lifestyle of New York, there are still some eligible bachelors out there that are willing to give me the time a day. They still want to know my name, they compliment my appearance and they really want to get to know me. It's good to know that my appearance still will get me carded, get me out of the occasional speeding ticket and even grant me a free drink at a bar.

I am choosing to embrace my new status and enjoy the single life through more mature eyes. Understanding what will work and what won't and when to get out quick. The men that I have met over the last few weeks have been nice, funny and charming. They appreciate my independence and look forward to getting to know who I am. While, I do understand my biological clock continues to tick, I know that God doesn't make mistakes, things happen for a reason and nothing happens before it's time. God knows the desires of my heart and He knows that I do want a husband and children, so I know I will be given those things in due time.

While I can't wait until the One meets me and we get together, I am enjoying this new chapter of my life. Yep, it's cool to be a Puma! And it's good to be alive.

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